Thursday, February 3
Yess! I have changed an awful lot. A lot of it for the worse. Some for the good. I suppose as you get older, you start to do things that older people 'do'..that has a huuuuge effect on you as a person. Whether you do it at a young age or older age. No matter what you're always going to get judged for who you are. I tend to care a lot more about what I look like because I have a verrry low self esteem. I'm one of them people who want to be perfect and would try there hardest. I just fail at it. On the other hand.. i've realised to appreciate my friends and my family a lot more than I ever have. I've lost and been through so many things and i've realised that the most important people in your life are not those you can't have but the ones that you need to keep..
I know it's a tad personal. But i'm up for letting out all feelings on here.. So today I found out that my grandad has got cancer. First reaction. I cried my eyes out, for ages. Sobbed an awful lot. It's hard because we've been through it already. It makes me feel sick, he's done nothing bad. Never said a bad word against anyone but yet something so bad happens to him? My Nan's heartbroken..and there's just nothing anyone can do :( I don't know what to say, or how to approach anyone. All we can do now is just hope he'll pull through. I mean he should do! It's gonna be the hardest few weeks of my life and I feel sick that the cunts at Scarborough and James Cook hospital could of stopped this from happening if they didn't pratt around. But now all we can do is just wish and hope for the best..hm <3<3
Wednesday, February 2
Hmm.. quite difficult this one. Cos when you're alone and you're doing things you don't think about how wierd they are. But yeah, usually just dance around, sing loud, pulling faces in the mirror is a usual one. Think alot too. I like thinking, but not too much. That fucks you up.. I also like jumping around the room or fat lapping my house. Eeek, I do more when i'm bored and alone than I do when i'm with people!